Archive for the ‘Bric-a-Brac’ Category
May 30, 2011 – Memorial Day 2011
This year I lost two friends about my age. I wrote entries for both of them the past year – Sean Maher and Carl Anderson. I miss them both and think of them often.
one year ago…”OK, We’re Almost Done with Claire’”
May 11, 2011 – Linda to Advise in DC Next Week
Linda received an invitation to DC from a branch of the National Academy of Science and HBO to participate in a discussion about obesity and farm policy. The agency is the Institute of Medicine and here’s a bit of description from their web site.
The Institute of Medicine (IOM) is an independent, nonprofit organization that works outside of government to provide unbiased and authoritative advice to decision makers and the public.
Established in 1970, the IOM is the health arm of the National Academy of Sciences, which was chartered under President Abraham Lincoln in 1863. Nearly 150 years later, the National Academy of Sciences has expanded into what is collectively known as the National Academies, which comprises the National Academy of Sciences, the National Academy of Engineering, the National Research Council, and the IOM.
Here’s a brief description of the event from the IOM:
More after Linda returns…
one year ago…”Spring Bee Renewal”
May 10, 2011 – Unintentional Demolition!
After yesterday’s granary demolition, I’ve got a story of a not-so-happy demolition. Motored up to St. Paul to pick up Claire after year one at Macalester was over. She’s got about a month at home before heading to DC for her summer internship with the USDA.
So on the way home on I-35 in southern Minnesota, one of the electronic signs warns “Accident Ahead – 3 miles. As we approach the site we can’t make out what has happened – I say – “It’s to big for a rolled over semi.” Claire offers, “It’s a billboard.” When we reach the scene, it is half of a modular house impaled sideways on a guard rail on an interstate overpass. The truck and trailer were short ways down the road. The house had evidently blown off the trailer.
I can imagine the call they needed to make to the homeowner, expecting to move into their new house in a few days – it could have gone at least a couple of directions.
“Sir, the good news is that half of your house is in place and bolted to the foundation.”
or
“How do you feel about moving to a great location just outside Faribault Minnesota at a site with easy access to the interstate?” Sorry, no pictures.
one year ago…”Frosty Mother’s Day”
May 2, 2011 – Stuff White People Like
At a Borders Bookstore going out of business sale, I picked up a book that cracked me up (because it pokes fun at people I know and myself). You don’t have to buy the book, it’s all online at Stuff White People Like. The following are two selections close to my heart.
Berry Picking
It is well established that white people like the past. Vintage clothing, history degrees, and nostalgia are just three examples of how white people show their love for by-gone eras. So when white people think about growing their own food they are reminded of pastoral images of farming, working the land, and growing whole natural foods for their family. This most positive viewpoint comes from the fact that white people have mostly enjoyed supervisory roles in agricultural production over the years.
But as more and more white people moved into cities, they lost their connection to working the land. In recent years, the most advanced white people have quit their jobs, moved to the country and opened artisanal dairies and small scale radicchio farms.
However, not all white people have the ability, or the trust funds, to quit their job and follow their food-based passions. Some white people have to get their fix by picking their own fruit.
Many of you might be familiar with the process of harvesting a crop, some of its more intense variations are often referred to as “migrant labor” and “slavery.” Under these conditions, laborers are expected to work extremely hard in order to live up to large expectations about their fruit picking output.
When white people harvests a crop it’s known as “berry picking” or “pick your own fruit.” Under these conditions, white people are expected to work leisurely with no real expectations and then they pay for the privilege to do so. In other words, berry picking is the agricultural equivalent to a private liberal arts college. It’s no surprise white people like it, because much like a liberal arts degree it feels like you’ve done real work when you really haven’t.
Of course the easiest way to turn a profit with this information would be to start your own fruit picking farm. But that is only looking at the small picture. It is well established that all white people enjoy doing manual labor under watered down and expensive conditions. So, if you are currently working in a job that requires intensive amounts of work, you should consider using that work space to create what is essentially an adult daycare for white people who would like to spend an afternoon learning how to use a loom or pretending to be a construction worker.
Camping
If you find yourself trapped in the middle of the woods without electricity, running water, or a car you would likely describe that situation as a “nightmare” or “a worse case scenario like after plane crash or something.” White people refer to it as “camping.”
When white people begin talking to you about camping they will do their best to tell you that it’s very easy and it allows them to escape the pressures and troubles of the urban lifestyle for a more natural, simplified, relaxing time. Nothing could be further from the truth.
In theory camping should be a very inexpensive activity since you are literally sleeping on the ground. But as with everything in white culture, the more simple it appears the more expensive it actually is.
Camping is a multi-day, multi-step, potentially lethal activity that will cost you a large amount of both time and money. Unless you are in some sort of position where you absolutely need the friendship of a white person, you should avoid camping at all costs.
The first stage of camping always involves a trip to an outdoor equipment store like REI (or in Canada, Mountain Equipment Co-Op). These stores are well known for their abundance of white customers and their extensive inventory of things for white people to buy and only use once. If you are ever tricked into going to one of these stores, you can make white people like you by saying things like “man, this Kayak is only $1200, if I use it 35 times I’ve already saved money over renting.” Note: do not actually buy the kayak.
Next, white people will then take this new equipment and load it into an SUV or Subaru Outback with a Thule or Yakima Roof Rack. Then they will drive for an extended period of time to a national park or campsite where they will pay an entrance fee and begin their journey. It is worth noting that white people are unaware of the irony of using a gas burning car to bring them closer to nature and it is not recommended that you point this out. It will ruin their weekend.
Once in the camp area, white people will walk around for a while, set up a tent, have a horrible night of sleep, walk around some more. Then get in the car and go home. This, of course, is a best case scenario. Worst case scenarios include: getting lost, poisoned, killed by an animal, and encountering an RV. Of these outcomes, the latter is seen by white people as the worst since it involves an encounter with the wrong kind of white people.
Conversely, any camping trip that ends in death at the hands of nature or requires the use of valuable government resources for a rescue is seen as relatively positive in white culture. This is because both situations might eventually lead to a book deal or documentary film about the experience.
Ultimately the best way to escape a camping trip with white people is to say that you have allergies. Since white people and their children are allergic to almost everything, they will understand and ask no further questions. You should not say something like “looking at history, the instances of my people encountering white people in the woods have not worked out very well for us.”
April 27, 2011 – I Should Know Better…
My days attending arena concerts are nearly over. The reasons are many – ticket prices are too high, yacky and/or drunk people behind you spend the whole evening talking/yelling at their friends/spilling beer on you. Turns out most of the artists I like play at smaller venues, so it’s been ok for a while.
But Mellencamp was in town this week, tickets were under $50, he was touring to support the first album to make the Billboard top ten that was recorded in mono since 1964, and he was playing in a small house (2500) and the latest album was very follky.
But all to no avail. Not all of his fans have grown up with him. Despite the fact that early in the show as people yelled out songs as if it were a piano bar, he said, “don’t worry, we’ll get around to the songs you want to hear.” That didn’t seem to prevent the people from behind us bellowing out “Jack and Diane” or Hurts so Good” at every quiet moment.
And when the band left the stage for about a 45 minute acoustic set with just John and his guitar, it was viewed more as “recess time” and time to chat mindlessly instead of listening to these great new songs. I felt bad for myself and bad for the performers that all they really cared about was the songs from 20 years ago. He didn’t quite go Dylan and make the songs unintelligible so people couldn’t recognize them, but he really substantially rearranged many of the hit songs to get rid of the arena-rock chords and make them either more country, rockabilly, or bluesy than the originals. It was nice that he brought back the accordion and fiddle for this tour as well. John was pretty low-key about his political thoughts this time around, with only one pointed remark to today’s politicians when he reminded us of the preamble to the constitution “We the People of the United States, in order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare” He commented that while providing defense seemed to not be a problem, promoting for the general welfare of the people was forgotten.
xxx.
one year ago…”A Late President’s Day Message”
April 19, 2011 – D+ for Drake
With one daughter recently in college and another on the way, we take our credentials as judge and jury of college mailings seriously. After all, our mailbox has been home to “please apply here” college material from coast to coast. However, one stands out as being particularly puzzling, and it’s a college only 60 miles from here – Drake.
Here’s the cover to the brochure they sent to Emma.
D+
Really? D+ is supposed to give me warm fuzzies about Drake? What is D+? The grade Drake received in the most recent Peterson’s Guide to Colleges? The average GPA of admitted students? After a closer look inside it’s evidently supposed to be Drake “plus” all kinds of great things. But if you don’t get past the cover (and why would you be intrigued by a place that labels itself as D+?), you’ll never find out. I give a D+ to the marketing department at Drake for this campaign!
one year ago…”OK Allergy Sufferers”
April 14, 2011 – Thingamajig Thursday for Carl
No thingamajig Thursday today in honor of Carl. I’ve worked with Carl for most of my years at Wells Fargo, most recently sitting adjacent to him. He was 56 and passed away on Tuesday. Carl loved trivia and word puzzles, marching bands, traveling and he was a converted Hawkeye fan that turned into the most fervent Cyclone fan I know. Carl led the way for me to wear Hawaiian shirts and vests to work.
Carl was a regular blog reader and loved the Thingamajig Thursday feature.
Carl Anderson, 56, of West Des Moines passed away April 12, 2011 at Mercy Medical Center in Des Moines. The son of Marion and Lucille (Mitchell) Anderson, Carl was born on July 19, 1954 in Mount Pleasant, Iowa. He grew up in Olds, Iowa where he was active in church, band, sports, and scouting activities. He attained the rank of Eagle Scout.
Carl graduated from Iowa State University. He continued to return to play in the alumni band and attend sporting events. He also loved the St. Louis Cardinals, golfing, Jimmy Buffett, wine collecting and travel. He has worked the past 13 years for Wells Fargo Mortgage in West Des Moines.
Carl was preceded in death by his parents. He is survived by his wife of 25 years, Diana; sisters, Mary Lou and Margaret (Kris Yarbrough); step-daughters, Julie Melberg (Ben Garcia) and Dottie (John) Walker; and seven grandchildren. He was a loving man and he will be missed.
Memorial services will be 11 a.m., Saturday, April 16 at West Des Moines United Methodist Church (720 Grand Ave., West Des Moines). The family will greet friends from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. Friday evening at the church. Memorials may be made to the Iowa State University Foundation to be designated for the Marching Band Fund (2505 University Boulevard, Ames, Iowa 50010).
one year ago…”Spring Flowering Begins”
April 9, 2011 – 27 Years Later, UMD Hockey Champs!
As a native Duluthian and an alum of UM-Duluth, and a season ticket holder from 1981-1984, I was pleased to witness the Bulldogs win their first NCAA hockey championship. In 1984, after the Bulldogs painful 5-4 loss in four overtimes in the NCAA championship game, if you would have told me that in 27 years I’d be taking my son to the see the championship game, visiting my oldest daughter in college, and married to Linda (who I knew then and wanted to know much better, but she was already with boyfriend), I would have been overjoyed.
There it is 3-2 UMD in overtime over Michigan.
Martin in his seat at the Xcel Energy center. I’m thinking the millions the power company spent on advertising was missed on Martin as he asked me “Dad, is this arena related to Microsoft?” I asked him why he thought it might be and he replied that the name of the arena was a spreadsheet.
The Xcel center is a great place to watch a hockey game – ESPN The Magazine has ranked the venue six years among the top three for “Best Stadium Experience” in all of professional sports. Xcel Energy Center was named “Best NHL Arena” by Sports Business Journal and recognized for the “Best Fan Experience” by Forbes magazine. Sports Illustrated named the arena its “top choice” among NHL buildings. But until today, I didn’t know what extremes the facility went to make the fan experience so great.
For example, after talking up the guy sitting next to me, he revealed that he was Gregg Moore, who played for UMD the same time I had season tickets. Not only did he play there, he had 206 career points, which makes him the 4th highest scoring player in UMD history! Needless to say, there was much happiness in our row. Gregg’s time ended in 1983, one year before the famous 4 OT championship game at Lake Placid, but he was there to watch it on a break from professional hockey in Europe.
Here’s the obligatory celebration following the sudden death victory. The game had a storybook ending as the player who scored the winning goal was voted the “most underrated” college hockey player just a few days ago. Kyle Schmidt, only one of four seniors on the team, directed in the winning goal in OT. He is a hometown boy, growing up a few miles from the campus. Also, all the team dyed their hair blonde, except for Kyle, whose fianace wasn’t keen on a badly dyed blonde husband in summer wedding photos!
Next year, when the Frozen Four is played in Tampa, there’ll be another banner hanging from the ceiling.
one year ago…”Claire’s College Search is Over”
April 8, 2011 – Parts Package
I’m always thrilled to see good directions with a product. So really, that means I’m hardly ever thrilled. Typically the directions seem to be poorly translated from another language, or vague with poor or no drawings.
That’s why I was excited to see this new format in parts packaging (for a new office chair). Labeling and packing the parts with their corresponding section of the directions, rather than having a big bag of nuts and bolts was a bold new step.
However, the written instructions were not good. There were parts and steps that were not mentioned in the directions and were left unused and there was a part that was needed that was not listed in the directions.
one year ago…”Thingamajig Thursday #203″
April 4, 2011 – Marshalltown Hy-Vee (file under: rant)
During piano lessons, I thought I’d run to the grocery store (Hy-Vee) to get some milk. At the beginning of the frozen food aisle was a table with paper grocery bags and a sign that said “All the frozen items that you can fit into a paper bag will be 10% off!
I grabbed a sack and found just a lot of processed foods until I came to the tilapia fillets. I threw a bunch in the bag, grabbed some milk and a six-pack of a new micro-brew and hurried to the check-out. The frozen fish did not ring up with the 10% off. I asked why the frozen fish didn’t ring up with the “sack attack” discount. With a friendly smile, the checker told me with a slight hint of impatience “Frozen fish is considered to be meat and not frozen food.” The sign did not say “excludes meat.”
Using the logic that frozen fish in the frozen foods section is not frozen food, I wondered if frozen vegetables are considered produce? Is ice cream considered dairy? Is there any thing in the frozen food aisle that wasn’t something else before it was frozen?
I’m not so burned about the couple of bucks I didn’t save, but rather the thousands of others in Hy-Vees across the land who fell to the same trick. I also recall learning that Hy-Vee’s definition of “fresh meat” means meat that has only been frozen once. Perhaps what Hy-Vee really needs is a English/Hy-Vee dictionary so we can not be confused what “frozen” and “fresh” mean to Hy-Vee!
one year ago…”Signs of Early Spring”
April 1, 2011 – This is no April Fool’s Joke
I know there are many bright and intelligent people who work for the Iowa DOT (I actually know some). However, the people responsible for planning and installing these signs are not among them!
Around mile marker 165 on US hwy 30, is this sign tandem. Whizzing by at 65 mph, it’s really hard to know where you are, or how far you might be from the next three towns, especially since the speed limit sign is so close to the mileage to next towns sign.
I’m thinking about the guys who dug the holes to put the sign posts in the ground. Maybe they were oblivious to the miles of empty road shoulder as far as the eye could see? Maybe the signs were lonely and needed to be together?
one year ago…”Thingamajig Thursday #202″
March 29, 2011 – News from Cambodia
A former writer type co-worker of mine is now in Cambodia, volunteering for the American Jewish World Service. Mark lost his job at Wells Fargo and took it as an opportunity to volunteer. He’s keeping a blog at Mark in Cambodia. I’m particularly struck at the people, colors, and stories of the inhumanity of the Khmer Rouge from 1975 to 1979, during at which as at least 1.7 million people were killed and deaths documented so Pol Pot could be sure his underlings were telling the truth on executions and murders. If you’re so inclined, you can stop by his blog and read more and get more photos like the one below.
I’ll use Mark’s words to describe his work in Kampot: “Among my tasks this week, I created a volunteer plan for the NGO’s youth group who will be helping out with Cambofest, an indie film festival to held here in early March. I also developed an action plan for my work over the next three months. Central to that plan is an internal and external communications strategy, annual and quarterly report editing, development of one grant proposal and future proposal strategy, as well as developing English speaking, critical thinking and research skills of the NGO staff. Those who know me from my work know this puts me smack dab in the middle of my sweet spot.”
one year ago…”It’s Elementary”
March 27, 2011 – Frozen Four
This year has brought back memories from the old undergraduate days in Duluth Minnesota, where hockey reigned supreme. I still remember the crisp, clear walks back from the arena after the game. I was thankful that there were many blocks of skywalk to break the chill of the two mile walk.
This year’s team has once again made the NCAA Frozen Four.
This year, the tourney is hosted in St. Paul and would be a perfect time to go…if tix weren’t $100 game and you had to buy three games at that price, so a couple of tix sets you back $600. That’s about 240 dozen eggs!
I found this photo in the archives of the Duluth News-Tribune from the early 80′s showing coach Mike Sertich celebrating after beating Wisconsin to win the conference championship. The years I had season tickets the Bulldogs went to three NCAA tournaments. If they can get by Notre Dame in the first game, they’ll play their nemesis North Dakota.
March 11, 2011 – Local is New Overused Buzzword
I’ve noticed since the appearance of local food into consumer’s lingo, many other businesses are using the word as well, not all with the same values as local food presents. To me, a large part of the lure of purchasing local food is its freshness, and to many others the primary motive is the idea that the money stays within the community, using the local multiplier effect and it lifts the entire local economy when money circulates locally rather than siphoned off to a multinational corporation.
My Menards bill came in an envelope from this company with the interesting slogan “The World’s Local Bank.” I would never consider that Hong Kong and Shanghai Banking Corporation (HSBC) is local. In fact, from their worldwide establishments, they sucked 19 billion in profits out of local communities in 2010. (During a better banking year they removed almost 40 billion in2007 from “local” communities to their shareholder’s wallets.)
I fear this could be the latest term to lose all meaning because of co-option by large corporations, much like “natural” “sustainability” and “green” have been. Indeed author Wendell Berry recently reminded us that it is not the words that offer us hope, but the relationship:
“Too much of the talk and politics of conservation consists of slogans, such as ‘Think globally, act locally’ or even single words such as ‘green’ or ‘sustainable’ or ‘organic’ that act like slogans. Such language finally does harm. It becomes useful, in fact, to land-abusing corporations. What gives hope is actual conversation, actual discourse, in which people say to one another in good faith fully and exactly what they know, and acknowledge honestly, the limits of their knowledge.”
one year ago…”Thingamajig Thursday #199″
